4th Wheel

This year has been a year for some pretty big changes.

Mike and I moved in together and that same week, both of us were put into lockdown due to covid so had to learn how to live 24hours a day together from the get go.

We are both people that like to have our own space so moving in together was always going to be interesting. Thankfully we have always been very honest in our communication to let each other know where we are at mentally and if we need to have a few hours to ourselves.

Then just as we were learning how to co-exist, his parents moved in with us after deciding to sell their property to build their dream home.

For the first few weeks it was abit of an awkward dance of always feeling like you were standing on someones toes, or that I couldn't fully relax. But then after many discussions with girlfirends, I decided to just let it be.

I realised that just as much as I was feeling awkward so were his parents. These beautiful people were just as used to having their own space as me and now are having to learn to live with their son AND his girlfriend. I'm sure that can't have been easy. As my mum keeps reminding me "I am a very difficult person to live with".

As each month has rolled on we have all become more relaxed around each other and settled into life in the full house. I now have no issue sitting on the couch with everyone in my pj's with no bra on. This was a huge one for me....I'm sure we can all agree there is nothing better at the end of a long day as taking your bra off!

A few things I learnt / had to accept over the last few months are:

1. Let go of control, this was a huge one for me. Things aren't always going to be exactly how you want them, and you are just going to have to be ok with that

2. They are only trying to help....This is almost my mantra at the moment and has gone hand in hand with letting go of control. They may not clean with products I want in the house, or even cook food I like sometimes, but they are doing it from the goodness of their heart because they are just trying to help

3. Keep your mouth shut. Yep, this is sooo much easier said than done and unfortunately my face tends to say it all. When I feel like I am on the verge of cracking and yelling at his mum, rather than going off my handle, I keep my mouth shut, walk out of the room and then spend 5 minutes punching my pillow.

4. Remember they are still your partners parents. This is actually something my own mum said to me just the other day. Just because they are driving you insane, don't go bitching to your partner. They are still his/her parents at the end of the day and you wouldn't like it if he/she was talking about our family that way.

For anyone that is in the same boat, I see you, I get it, and you can tell me all about it!